Do not wear glasses while using the Wii or your friend will smack you in the face.

If your Wii is thirsty, do not feed it Tang. Your Wii prefers Purple Drank.

People with weak hearts should not attempt to cast Lightning spells from their Wiimotes.

Don't let your Wii start smoking. Smoking causes disk drive cancer.

You shouldn't let an Irish person touch your Wii.

If your Wii disc is broken, remember to tape both sides back together when repairing it, not just one side.

Keep your Wii away from the evil, fez wearing snowman.

We hope that you will keep these helpful tips in mind the next time you use your Wii. And remember, the next time you see someone wearing glasses while playing the Wii, give 'em a good smack in the face, just like the manual tells you to.