When in the Course of gaming history, it becomes necessary for Nintendo to dissolve all notions of Next Gen which have connected all consoles with another, and to assume among the powers of Gray Skull, the separate and equal platforms to which the Laws of Pixels and Polygon Gods entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of gamers requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the kick ass and take names.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all gamers are created equal and that Billy Mitchell is a cheater, that they are endowed by their controller with certain unalienable Rights, that that among these are Life, Liberty and the ability to play great games without discrimination.

That to secure these rights, Online Communities are instituted among Hardcore gamers, deriving their just powers from the consent of the nubs, That whenever any Hardcore gamer becomes destructive and relentlessly teabags the nubs, it is the Right of the Nubs to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new heirarchy, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness free from teabagging and incessant fanboy trash talk.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Market Leaders long established should not be changed simply because their console costs $600; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that gamers are more disposed to suffer long load times, while evils are spewn in the form of shovelware, than to right themselves by abolishing the consoles which they ferevently defend and switching allegiances from Sony to Nintendo or Nintendo to Microsoft. But when a long train of red rings of death, constant firmware updates, and inexplicable lag pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce the gamer under absolute fanboyism, it is the right of the gamer, it is the duty of the gamer, to throw off such Market Leaders, and to play new games and retro games for the sake of the industry.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these gamers; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Gaming. The history of the present Kings of Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft is a history of repeated console and software shortages, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over their respective fanboys...

We, therefore, the Elders of the Pink Godzilla blog, in General Council, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judges of the gaming world, Nolan Bushnell and Hiroshi Yamauchi, for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name of the Pixel, and by Authority of gamers of all allegiances, solemnly publish and declare, That these gamers are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent gamers; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, Sega or even Atari, and that all fanboy connection between them and their beloved console, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent gamers, they have full Power to play Mario Kart, followed by a game of Halo or a dose of Metal Gear Solid 4 and play all other Consoles and Handhelds which Independent gamers may of right play. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Gunpei Yokoi's divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our flat screen TV's, our high speed internet connections and our surround sound systems.

Signed,

Elder Taragan

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