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Danger Is The Nintendo Wii's Middle Name

bomb.omb.jpgThe Wiimote has been used to perform delicate virtual surgeries, cook digital yakisoba and drive pixelated monster trucks. But thanks to the makers of the Roomba robot vacuum and the U.S. Department of Energy, the Wiimote will be adapted to control robots capable of diffusing real-world bombs and other things that go boom-ba.

That got the scientists over at the Pinky G Underground Research Facility thinking. What other dangerous activities could the Wiimote be adapted for? Continue reading as we explore the possibilities.

Disarming bombs is certainly dangerous work, but so are the following occupations. Workers in these fields could all benefit from robots controlled by Wiimotes.

Fireman.gifFiremen - Not Fire Man of Rockman fame, but Firemen. You know, the kind that fight fires as opposed to robotic arsons. Imagine how many lives would be saved if instead of running into a burning building, a fire fighter could simply control his own personal robot armed with a water cannon. By the power of Wiimote, a fireman could safely distinguish a five alarmer without even breaking a sweat.

Certainly, Sony would be willing to contribute to the cause by donating their remaining inventory of their discontinued Aibo robot dogs. Paint a few spots on them and you've got at least 101 robotic dalmatians.

Bathroom Attendant - Let's face it. This is certainly one of the most dangerous jobs in Snob-land. Think about it. How many toilets do you have in your office, cubicle or work station. None, right? Well imagine working in an office full of toilets, otherwise known as giant porcelain petri dishes. And Larry Craig only knows what happens in the stalls. The sounds, the smells...ohhhh the humanity.goldeneye.facility.jpg

Now imagine if the bathroom attendant could be safely stationed in a separate room behind a three-inch thick glass barrier - away from the germs and the odors - from which he could control a couple of robotic arms with a set of Wiimotes. When the guest finishes up his business, the Wiimote could be set to rumble letting the attendant know it's time to get to work. A quick flip of the wrist would flush the toilet. To operate the faucet, hit the A Button. A spritz of cologne, hit the B Button. A shiatsu shoulder massage, shake the Wiimotes. Sorry Senator Craig. The attendant's services are limited to the shoulder area.

Miner - Aren't you saddened by all the miner related fatalities in the news these days. Even the ones that break their back through retirement are typically inflicted with the black lung. An army of pick axe and shovel wielding robots controlled by Wiimote are just the answer. Cave collapses? No widows and fatherless children, just build some more robots. No need for canaries to sacrifice their lives anymore either since robots don't need oxygen to work. And no matter how many years a robot spends in a cave, it can't get the black lung. It's time for miners to trade in their shovels for Wiimotes.

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Honorable Mention

Tron Guy's Wardrobe Assistant and Photographer. The image speaks for itself.

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