Kid "Murdock" Icarus-

Bio: You might be thinking to yourself, "hey, wait a minute, isn't his name Pit?" Now than might be true if untrustworthy sources like both Kid Icarus games, Nintendo, Smash Bros. Brawl, and 20+ years of gaming history are to be believed. However, the world of Captain N scoffs at your logic and facts. According to this animated series, the star of Kid Icarus is indeed named Kid Icarus.

Kid was a short cherub who sported a gigantic head and a bow full of every imaginable arrow. He also had a bizarre speech impediment in which he added the suffix -icus to nearly every word he said. Typical Kid Icarus phrase: Your hignicuss! King Hippo has stolenicuss the treasureicuss!.(Pretty annoyingicuss, isn't it?)

Skillz: Kid Icarus's special power was his endless supply of special arrows. Utilizing the ever-present Plot Device energy that powered Videoland, Icarus could pull out whatever kind of power the situation called for. If there were fire enemies he had ice arrows, shadow monsters got light arrows, he even had a arrows that could sew torn clothes! (Unfortunately, poor Kid Icarus didn't have a "success" arrow in his quiver, or else his career might not have faded into obscurity after the Captain N show.)

Could he beat Segata Sanshiro in a fight?: Not a chance! Kid Icarus's method of attack is using arrows tuned to his enemy's weakness. However, since Segata Sanshiro has no weaknesses, there is no arrow that could hurt him. Segata would check his library of Saturn games (he keeps a list in his pocket at all times), find out that Kid Icarus was never released on the Saturn, and then proceed to punt the Kid through the uprights like a Josh Brown field goal.

Simon "Faceman" Belmont-

Bio: Remember the first time you played Castlevania? Remember the whip-wielding badass who was takin' vampire names and kickin' undead ass? Apparently Dic (the makers of Capitan N) didn't, so instead we got the "reimagined" version of Simon Belmont. The new Simon was a narcissistic wanna-be ladies man whose main job for the N-Team was comic relief.

When Simon Belmont was not admiring himself, he was busy admiring Princess Lana. The rivalry for the princess' attention was a source of friction between Simon and Captain N. (This also fulfilled the Stupid Love Triangle quota that every superhero team is Constitutionally required to have.) This would be fine except for the fact that we're pretty sure that Princess Lana is about the same age as Captain N. This would put her somewhere around 15-16 years old, which would make Simon a prime candidate for a spot on Chris Hansen's speed-dial.

Skillz: Simon possesses the mythical Belmont family whip. He also had a magical backpack that houses just about every object ever known to man. Simon can pull just about anything out of his backpack depending on this situation. (That's right, yet another instance of the omnipresent Plot Device power, the Energon of the Captain N universe.)

Could he beat Segata Sanshiro in a fight?: While the vampire-slaying Belmont whip is certainly formidable, we are pretty sure that Segata is not undead, and thus not vulnerable to it. We are also sure that there is nothing in that backpack that could save Simon from a horrible beating. Segata would likely squish Simon into a ball and then stuff him into his own backpack.

Mega Man AKA "B.A. Baracus"-

Bio: Oh, Mega Man, what have these monsters done to you? What happened to the lean mean Blue Bomber that kicked robotic ass with his Bubble Lead and Top Spin? Why have you been replaced by a green midget that sounds like a mechanical Harvey Fierstein? For some ungodly reason, the geniuses as Dic decided that the Mega Man we all know and love would look much better as a crudely drawn childlike shell of his real self. This is surely one of the greatest tragedies in the history of animation.

Mega Man played the straight man of the N-Team comedy trio. While Simon was the clumsy oaf and Kid Icarus was the flighty emotional cherub, Mega Man was the serious member of the team. Perhaps his mechanical lack of emotion wouldn't allow him to take part in the petty bickering or silly teen love flings of his teammates. Mega Man's mentor Dr. Light also makes an appearance, also as a midget compared to the rest of the team. (Perhaps Mega Man comes from a land where everyone is very tiny.)

Like Kid Icarus, Mega Man feels the need to spice up his speech a little. He adds the prefix Mega- to many of his words. Although it's less Mega-annoying than Kid Icarus, it's can still get on your Mega-nerves after awhile.

Skillz: Despite his horrible appearance, Mega Man is still a pretty potent member of the N-Team. He still has his Mega-Buster and his robot dog, Rush. He even gets upgraded with a mega girlfriend at one point (Mega Girl, who was probably just a repackaged Roll, which is kind of creepy if you realize that she was originally programmed to be Mega Man's sister). Unlike his teammates, who used magic backpacks and enchanted arrows, Mega Man had a no special attacks. All he needed was his trusty blaster.

Could he beat Segata Sanshiro in a fight?: The real Mega Man might have had a chance against Segata. His awesome array of special weapons gained from years of beating Dr. Wily's robot masters and his bevy of special moves would have made a contest between him and the Sega champion very close. Most likely, the two would have fought to a draw and then retired to play a rousing game of Mega Man 8 on the Saturn. However, the N-Team Mega Man is not the real Mega Man. Segata Sanshiro would have seen through his ruse and dropkicked the little green machine right into the Mega-stratosphere.

Samus "Triple A" Aran-

Bio: Because of some licensing issues, only first-party Nintendo characters could appear in the comic book version of Captain N. Because of this, Mega Man and Simon Belmont were scrapped and replaced with Samus Aran.

Unlike the other characters, Samus did not undergo a major personality change for the comic (although she never had much of a personality to start with). She was still the rough and tough space bounty hunter that we all remembered. Due to the Sacred Laws of Teenage Storytelling, Samus was forced into a love triangle with Captain N and Princess Lana. She decided to take a liking to our young Captain, and decided to pursue him, much to the dismay of the Princess.

Special Note: While we're not sure exactly how old Samus is supposed to be, we know for a fact that she's at least twice as old, if not older, than Captain N. We know that the captain is not even close to 18 either. At one point in the series, he says that he's not old enough to drive yet, which would put him at or a little under the age of 16. We're not sure what the age of consent laws are like in Videoland but we're pretty sure that Samus is breaking at least a few of them in her pursuit of Kevin.

Skillz: Since Samus was just a replacement for Mega Man, her arsenal was pretty much the same as his. (Unfortunately, unlike the Blue Bomber, she was not armed with the Leaf Shield or Toad Rain.) She came equipped with the latest futuristic weapons, straight from her then newest adventure, Metroid 2.

Could she beat Segata Sanshiro in a fight?: This would be another tough battle. Segata has his martial arts mastery and Samus has futuristic armor and weaponry. However, although Segata is a staunch Sega partisan, that doesn't mean that he isn't wise to the ways of the Big N. Segata would simply enter the secret password "JUSTIN BAILEY" to make Samus' armor come off. Unprotected by her battle suit, she would be easy prey for Segata's lightning kicks.

That's all for this episode. Check back next time we'll take a look at the super villains that make the N-Team's life miserable (or at least mildly uncomfortable).