The Meaty Model Award for Greatest use of Brooke Burke in a Meat-Themed Kart Racing Game: PocketBike Racer.

Here at PG, few things make us happier than seeing small-time TV personality Brooke Burke, The Subservient Chicken, and The Burger King racing each other in tiny little karts. Imagine our delight when we found out that Burger King would be releasing a game based on that very premise.

PocketBike Racer is one of 3 games released by Burger King that feature the adventures of The King and his friends. While The King's posse of Burke and The Chicken may not be as cool as Ronald McDonald's crew, (the Hamburgler and Grimace could take those pretenders on any day of the week) they make a fun, if creepy, little game. Finally, a reason to take the old XBox out of mothballs.

In case PocketBike Racer isn't enough to satisfy your Burke/Chicken/King fix yet, there's a second game featuring the trio, Big Bumpin', which features some hot bumper car action.

The Fat Tony Award for Greatest Handheld Game Console/Swedish Mafia Moneymaking Scheme: The Gizmondo

The Gizmondo had so much potential. It had a goofy name, an underwhelming library of poorly made games, and it bore a slight resemblance to the Atari Jaguar controller. It could have been this generation's CD-I, only portable. However, those hopes and dreams came crashing down when the head of the Gizmondo company, Stefan Eriksson, crashed a million dollar sports car in California. This incident set off a series of strange events that led to the Gizmondo being exposed as nothing more than a scam, perpetrated by the Swedish Mafia.

Why must the Swedish Mafia always play with our emotions like this? We want a real Gizmondo handheld system, Sweden! And you're going on notice until we get one!

The Glass Joe Award for Boxing Cowardice Above and Beyond the Call of Duty: Uwe Boll

Uwe Boll has made it a goal in his life to ruin both the cinema and video game industries by making horrid movies based on video games. Uwe is responsible for BloodRayne, House of the Dead, and Alone in the Dark, which, in some countries, would get you jailed for crimes against humanity.

Uwe's films have been nearly universally panned by critics. However, instead of taking the hint like a big boy and doing something productive with his life (like changing careers), Uwe decided that the proper response would be to challenge anybody who bashed his movie to a boxing match.

Uwe was an amateur boxer and movie and game critics tend to be very unathletic. So the outcome of these fights would always be Uwe beating the hell out of the poor hapless writer and claiming that it was revenge for daring to question his "genius". However, when EGM contributor Sean "Seanbaby" Reiley tried to accept the challenge, Uwe suddenly had scheduling conflicts and couldn't go ahead with the fight. Why the sudden change of heart? Apparently, Uwe must have found out that Mr. Seanbaby wasn't an ordinary gamer critic, but was actually about 7 feet tall and fluent in many forms of martial arts.

The moral of this story? If you dare to write anything bad about the great Uwe Boll's movies, prepare for a world of pain. Unless you happen to be a really big Bad Dude, in which case, he could still totally kick your butt if he wasn't so busy this weekend.

The Not To Be Taken Orally Award for Greatest Instruction Manual: The Japanese Wii Manual

Clearly, Nintendo of Japan must care about their customers a lot more than Nintendo of America. The Users Manual for the Japanese Wii has a handy listing of things that you shouldn't do with your Wii, along with helpful illustrations. The American version has no such pictures or warnings.

Does Nintendo want us to eat our Wiimotes and pour liquid all over our consoles? Apparently, they just don't realize how tasty that Wiimote really looks. Luckily, we here at Pink Godzilla care about your well-being and posted a handy translation of the warnings. We even found a few bonus warnings that didn't make it to the original manual, but are helpful nonetheless.

The Flaming Moe Award for Greatest New Drink Served on Fire: The Pink Godzilla

It's common knowledge that everything tastes better when it's on fire. Whether it's roasting marshmallows over a campfire or Dad's special "Cajun-style" Thanksgiving turkey. But while many of our favorite foods are served over an open flame, the same could not be said about our favorite drinks, until now....

The master drinkologists at the Wann Izakaya have created the ultimate in flaming beverages, the Pink Godzilla. The 'Zilla is nutricious, delicious, and best of all, served with a Fire Flower (please note, drinking this will not help you shoot fireballs at any unsuspecting Koopas or Goombas).

Come on down to the Wann and try one of these for yourself. Or, better yet, come on down to one of Uncle Bling's world renowned Classic Gaming Nights at the Wann and sample the 'Zilla, along with many other specialty drinks like the Mario, the Luigi, and the Princess Peach.

Bonus Award!
The Greatest Mutant Camel Themed Shooter for the Commodore 64: Revenge of the Mutant Camels.

We've been saying for years that there are just not enough games out there involving mutant camels in outer space fighting kangaroos and British Telephone Booths. To satisfy our mutant camel cravings we turn to the trusty Commodore 64 and its wide variety of side-scrolling camel shooters.

Revenge of the Mutant Camels is the sequel to the worldwide hit Attack of the Mutant Camels. Unlike the first game, where you must save the world from evil mutant camels, Revenge allows you to take the reigns of your own mutant camel and save your race from all the weird things that infest the cosmos.

This game was made by Llamasoft, a very, very British company that made other notable games like Sheep in Space and Metagalactic Llamas Battle at the Edge of Time (did we mention that these guys are very British).

That's all for this year, check back here in 12 months when we present the 2007 year in review. Who will take home one of our coveted awards? Will there be mutant camels involved? Will somebody choke on a Wiimote because it didn't say not to in the manual? Stay tuned!