Da…da…da…da…da…da…da…da…da…
Right about now. Pink soul brother. Right about now. Pink soul brother.
Da…da…da…da…da…da…da…da…da…
Pink Godzilla is pinkin’ in heaven. Pink Godzilla is pinkin’ in heaven. Pink Godzilla is pinkin’ in heaven…is pinkin…is pinkin…is pinkin in heaven.
Shut up! Stop singin’ and dancin’ around the room, I can’t concentrate.
Not a Fat Boy Slim fan?
No. No I’m not. You know why? It’s because I’ve got no rhythm. There I said it. Are you satisfied? That’s why I’m sitting here taking this rhythm test. I need to get the funk.
Funk?!?! Ooooooh. I want the funk. Gimme, gimme, gimme!
No. You’ve already got rhythm.
Funk……….funk……funk…funk..funk, funk, funk…
Fine. Here take it.
Mmmmmm…the funk tastes good. A little crunchy, but…wow! I can feel it! All of a sudden I can’t stop tappin’ my tail. I’ve got the funk!
Damn it! I can’t believe you just ate my limited edition Mother 3 Gameboy Micro. Funk is not a food, it’s synonym for rhythm.
Mmmmmm…funk with cinnamon. That sounds even better.
Luckily I keep two copies of every game for moments like this. And luckily I can play GBA games on my DS Lite. But unlucky for you, I ain’t gonna let you touch this game again.
Game?
Yeah.
Rhythm Tengoku for the GBA. It’s the insane lovechild of Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan for the DS and Warioware for the GBA. It’s got the addictive music of Ouendan combined with the addictive ADD game play of Warioware. For example, on the first level, you take control of a fugly karate master. Your objective is to punch random objects such as flowerpots and light bulbs to the rhythm of the music. And for a GBA game, the music is an excellent mix of techno, latin rhythms, J-pop, etc., complete with vocals.
Vocals? You got it! The rhythm is gonna get you. The rhythm is gonna get you. The rhythm is gonna get you….tonight.
Thank you for that. Anyway, there are eight levels with six stages per level. Much like Warioware, the only theme tying the levels together is their complete and utter wackiness. One moment you’ll be a bouncy bunny hoppin’ on whales and the next moment you’ll be tap dancin’ with monkeys. If you’re feelin’ the funk, you’ll move on to the next stage.
Ugggh. I think I got monkeys tap dancin’ in my belly. I don’t think I like feelin’ the funk. That funk I ate was a little funky.
At the end of each level
Rhythm Tengoku throws an uber funky mega-mix at you with a little somethin’ somethin’ from each of the stages. Even if you discover a tad of James Brown in you and zip right through all 48 stages, the game does not end there. Score perfects on each level to receive medals. Collect enough medals and you can unlock all sorts of
o-make such as addictive mini-games, music, drum lessons and jam sessions.
Jam? That’s what I should have put on that funk before I ate it. Jam makes everything better.
In sum, if you like Warioware, BUY THIS GAME. If you like Ouendan, BUY THIS GAME. If you need a cure for rhythmless white boy disease, I’ve got the prescription and it’s
Rhythm Tengoku. BUY THIS GAME!
System: GBA, GBA Micro, DS
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Music
Release Date: August 4, 2006
# of Players: 1-2
IMPORT FRIENDLY – ▲
LOAD TIME – O
ORIGINALITY – O
GRAPHICS – ▲
MUSIC – ▲
LONGEVITY - ▲
OVERALL - O
CURRENT FAV IN GENRE: Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan
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